To be precious is to be held dear, held close. To be apprehensive of letting go; preciousness is a sign of innate weakness, historical femininity. Being tender, crying too easily, clutching to childhood immaturity. Holding onto the clothes you wore as a child, what no longer fits or holds inherent value, but that is coveted nonetheless; to anticipate the end, anticipate loss. Make futile attempts to prevent the inevitable. Preciousness, or the refusal to let go, is a delicately woven web made up of my own belongings, spun with the thoughts/images/preciousness of others. This is mine, that yours; preciousness is tended within me, inherited from every version of myself, made up of what younger me could no longer bear to carry. It is an ever growing web, still grasping onto the last moments of childhood that grow in kitchens and parks and living rooms and books and Anna's couch and Elena's table and my bedroom in Cleveland; the birthday cards and little scraps of paper that litter any wall that's ever been mine, the quilt my grandmother made me that covers my bed in the summer, the lumpy socks and asymmetrical mittens I've knit myself these last few months. Each piece I lend to this collection as something to hold onto, take care of, so I don't have to let them go…
pillow case from bedding at grandma & grandpa’s house / test newsprint / scrap pink cotton yarn / handmade lace socks / {girl sitting in bed surrounded by small meaningful objects that offer some joy and peace but mostly do not matter, that is life, aoiui via tumblr} / wish you were here, postcard set / {I am better than I was, ignitemywords via tiktok} / my bones are emotionally weak, screenprint / {I like the pinky girl and I like you Celeste, Grandma Zona via cuteanimalworld.wordpress.com} / pinkie girlie, riso zine & polaroid / handmade mittens / {try to be gentle when you are ripping me apart, melisica via tumblr } / lamb patches / {I still love you despite everything, sophiarodman1 via pinterest} / {“Each year is like putting a new coat over all the old ones. Sometimes I reach into the pockets of my childhood and pull things out”, Simon Van Booy,} / deer in window, deer on necklace, screen prints / pink poodle for safe keeping, screen print / ... bones, quilt / {The Sacrificial Lamb, Josefa de Ayala} / a drawing for a day, daily sketchbook / {without arts & crafts we are in hell, librarybi via tumblr} / polaroid of celeste holding pink poodle webkinz on display at grandma zona’s house / quilt for celeste’s fourth birthday, Grandma Zona {welcome to the world celeste, written on the back of a welsh lullaby and kept in my baby box} / {Girl with a Lamb, c.1785, Jean-Baptiste Greuze} / pink playhouse I, etching / pink playhouse II, etching / Celeste (of Babar) for safe keeping, etching / {I don’t think I’ll be able to get the words out. I told my parents I’m not going to spend another summer at home. But I probably will no matter how much I daydream about other more responsible options. I feel such a deep and uncontrollable vicious longing for all the best parts of my past and present life at home to remain untouched. } / { I like my sheep (no explanation needed), thegiftsoflife via tumblr} / first sweater bought for celeste (from BabyGap) / two headed lamb, etching / {Sweaters for dead birds, Annette Messager} / {You remember too much. my mother said to me recently. Why hold onto all that? And I said. Where can I put it down?, Anne Carson} /my grandmother speaks to me through her old teacups, ahecksis via tiktok / so i have to heal my inner child..., Chrissy Chlapecka / ...get the words out, thegiftsoflife via tumblr / ...she’ll never be normal, Heather O’Neill / {Ophelia, John Everett Millais} / {as i leave my childhood home i want to ask this old house: will you miss me like i’ll miss you? will you keep being my home if i leave my heart behind?, honeytuesday via tumblr} / scrap newsprint / Mythological Beauty, Big Thief / Love More, Sharon Van Etten / Seventeen, Sharon Van Etten / Aselestine, Yo La Tengo / Let Go, Sharon Van Etten / I Know The End, Phoebe Bridgers / Dead Hearts, Stars / Walls (Tom Petty Cover), Angel Olsen & Hand Habits /